Monday, May 4, 2009

An Open Letter to My Husband




Dear John,


First of all- I love you, however, when I married you I do not recall vows that included: " I, Beth, take your animal skull collection to be plastered all over our happy home..."

Is it not enough that I have incorporated some sort of antler/bone/skull/wildlife art/5ft. high carved black bear into every room in our house? A home that I might add was purchased for the sole purpose of housing your gigantic taxidermied mountain lion that has been posed creeping on two boulders and took six years to obtain. Is it not enough that a deer head stayed in my freezer for 2 years while you "decided what to do with it"... only to find it buried (antlers sticking out) in my vegetable garden (for over a year) where worms and bugs would "eat the flesh and leave a nice white skull". When I came home today and saw what you had done- I decided that enough was enough. Really John? A skull on the children's swingset? No. You are going to turn all of the neighborhood toddlers into vegetarians.

2 comments:

clarkje said...

Too funny! I can relate with the freezer! Our dinner conversation just last night was a discussion of what Jimmy has/has not decided to mount. He decided against his first turkey and is mounting the 20inch crappie that has been in there for 6 years! What about freezer burn? I need to take note of his wrapping techniques!

Molly said...

Amen!
Molly Leach